What Do You Do When… It Hits the Fan?

Can you feel it? It’s time to shake off the end of summer chaos and embrace the regular routine that comes back around each fall. There’s something about that external structure that just makes everything a little easier. 

Having to get the kids to school at a certain time in the morning calls for waking up at a certain time… 

Which means going to bed at a certain time… 

Which means getting homework done at a certain time… 

Which means eating dinner at a certain time… 

Which means getting home at a certain time… 

And so on.

In other words, having an external structure sets off a positive domino effect. By all means, breathe that deep sigh of relief! But also keep in mind that starting school is not the magic solution to chaos. No matter how perfect your systems look on paper, life happens and systems will drop.

And what happens when our systems drop? Sh*t hits the fan—at least, that’s what happens in my house. So let’s talk about how to get back on track when that happens!

Pause, Take a Deep Breath, and Notice

What is the first warning sign you get that something needs to shift at home?

For me, it’s a sense of overwhelm

I notice I’m repeating myself and yelling more because the kiddos aren’t listening.

• We all seem to have short fuses and are cutting each other off in conversation.

• I’m not following through on my “do something, then get something” statements.

When I start to feel overwhelmed at home, it’s time to check in with our systems. So instead of ignoring what’s happening right in front of me and just “pushing through,” I pause, take a deep breath (or several deep breaths), and notice where we’ve let our systems drop.

Set Everyone Up for Success

Then, when you’re in a calm place, consider what systems you need. Here are some areas you can focus on to make the back-to-school transition smoother and set everyone up for success.

1. Mental set.

With new routines, help kids change their existing “mental set.”

In neuropsychology, we have a term called “mental set.” This describes the brain’s lens for viewing situations (and we usually view them from the most familiar lens). When we have changes like a new routine or new school, it’s important to help our kids change their existing “mental set.”

For example, if your child is switching schools, talk to them about what will be different about this next stage and review their new routine. Say, “this year you will need to get up earlier because you will be taking the bus to your new school, but this also means that you will have more time to hang out with your friends before school starts.” 

You can do this with any and all changes to set a good “mental set” and chill out Amy G (she likes to know what to expect)!

2. Sleep

Promote good sleep.

Lack of sleep is a brain buster. When we sleep poorly, we lose focus, have trouble learning, and see an increase in behavior problems (in both kids and adults).

So promote good sleep:

• Create a routine around bedtime that includes a consistent “lights out time.” 

• Encourage everyone to turn off their devices before bedtime.

• Make sure bedrooms are quiet, dark, relaxing, and at a comfortable temperature.

3. Eating

Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference.

Like sleep, the food you eat turns into brain fuel. Healthy eating can make transitions easier because your brain works better! Good food improves your mood, helps you think faster and clearer, and makes learning easier. Stick with green vegetables, nuts and seeds, low fat milk, hard cheeses, and healthy proteins, like fish, chicken, and lean meat. For an extra brain boost, add a sprinkle of cinnamon and turmeric!

4. Exercise

Moving your body fuels your brain.

When you’re faced with a transition, your exercise routine can be the first to fall by the wayside. Try not to let this happen. Less is okay, no exercise is a brain buster! This is a non-negotiable for me! Remember that moving the body gives you brain fuel to improve your ability to manage your emotions.

So brainstorm together as a family ways to maintain your exercise routine through the start of the school year. 

• Do you enjoy walking around the neighborhood together after dinner? 

• Have you been making more trips to the playground this summer? 

• Can you continue these activities at least some weeknights or mornings?

The human brain thrives on routines because they help us feel grounded. So the next time the sh*t hits the fan in your house, pause, take a deep breath, and notice. Then, in a calm moment, set everyone up for success with some new systems and routines. You’ve got this!